I post all the time about the children and hardly ever post about Philip and myself. So in this post I want to take the time and brag about the best man I know....my wonderful husband. Philip and I are coming up on our 8 year Anniversary and I know to a lot of people that is not a long time but to us it is a big milestone. We have not had an easy marriage but who has? We have had to overcome a lot of obstacles in our marriage and a lot of these obstacles were in the first couple years of our marriage. From the moment we met..we were sucked into what I love to call a tornado of love. We wasted no time at all..if u took the time to blink...you were gonna miss something. We were engaged after 2 months of dating and married 3 months later. I will say that the world was against us from the beginning. I will apologize in advance for anyone I offend in this post...because a lot of family reads our blog. But both families were against our marriage from the start and in their defense we were young, dumb, and madly in love. Some may not believe in true love, love at first sight, soul mates, etc....but I sure do. From the moment we met...we were so passionate in everything we did. We loved hard and boy did we fight hard. Family and Friends would comment on our fighting and how they did not understand how and why we fought so much and why would we argue in public. Friends had bets on how long our relationship would last...I suspect that our families were wondering the same thing. Well we are 8 years in and more in love than ever. It is hard to explain our relationship...but it works for us. In the beginning we were young and had no clue what we were doing. We were both very strong, hard headed, opinionated personalities and we clashed a lot. If we did something that annoyed or pissed the other off...well we were gonna address it...whether it be at home, out to dinner, out with family or friends. For me...I wanted him to know right then and there that he done pissed me off and I was not gonna ruin my night by holding it in until we had privacy. But I can tell you...as quickly as we were to argue or disagree...we were that quick to move on and laugh and cuddle again :) People didn't understand our relationship...and that is ok...I couldn't and still can't understand a lot of other relationships. The other day we were joking that we haven't had a good argument in a long time :) Philip is such an amazing man. He is my husband, the love of my life, my soul mate, and has grown into my best friend. For those who truly know Phil...must know that he is not an easy person to handle. He is a joker, smart ass, speaks his mind all the time, has no filter, loves to annoy or push buttons, has a very dirty and dry sense of humor..oh I could go on. And people assume that when he gets home...he turns that all off and is normal....umm...nope. I get it all the time and at times it can be rather annoying but at the end of the day...if I am being truly honest...that is what I love the most about him. I can never stay mad at him, because he can always make me smile or laugh. I love that he still acts like a crazy 16 year old around me (shh don't tell him that) yes at times he annoys me when he can't keep his hands off of me but at the end of the day it makes me feel good that after 3 kids he still finds me smokin hot as he puts it :) He is so wonderful with our children. I love to watch him play with the kids. I love to hear him wrestling or killing zombies with the boys. Or sitting down in Ashlyn's tiny chair playing tea party. I love the way Ashlyn looks into Daddy's eyes .... she adores him and he can do no wrong and he eats it up. We both love our children with all of our hearts but I love that our children do not take over our relationship. When it comes to us...we come first. I may gets a lot of gasps from that statement but it is true. We are our children's foundation and we can not afford to have any cracks so yes we come first. We make sure we have quiet and alone time. We try and plan lots of date nights. Because at the end of the day...your children will grow up and leave and then it will just be the two of you and I have seen too many marriages end once the kids leave. Couples get so caught up in their kids lives...that they neglect their spouses. And then they wake up one day and have no idea who they are married to. We try everything in our power to not let that happen. Don't get me wrong...it is hard but we found a good balance between work, kids, and us. I look back at my life and become so very overwhelmed. I have come a long way and I could have taken another path....thank GOD I didn't. Philip saved me, he was my knight in shiny armor who rescued me. In these past eight years we have lots some family and friend relationships due to one another...and for the life I me...I can not understand why. Philip has done nothing but make sure that I am taken care of. He always puts me first. He works long and hard to provide for his family and then works even harder to gives us all those little extras in life. He is the father or my 3 beautiful children. The same goes for me. I love Philip more than life itself. I try and go out of my way to help and provide for him. I am the mother of his 3 children....if that isn't enough then I don't know what is. But as my wonderful husband always puts it....at the end of the day, the only people who matter are in this house :) and he is totally correct. Can not wait to spend another 8 years with him!
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Sitting on the couch tonight watching Swamp People with my wonderful hubby and I had a flash back to my childhood. My Mae Mae and Paw Paw lived in a beautiful house on Lake Claiborne in Louisiana. I have so manu fond memories of that house and the summers I spent with my grandparents. Tonight I was telling Philip about my grandfather and his fishing skills. I remember that once we caught a fish, we had to place them in the old washing machine drum that was kept in the water near the fishing dock and boat shed. I asked my grandfather one evening why we kept the fish in the drum and he explained he didn't want Ichabod Crane to get his fish. From that point on, I was so scared to go down to the boat shed alone because I thought Ichabod Crane was a big scaly lake monster ....and those feelings went on for probably 2 summers. Then one evening while walking down to the shed with my Paw Paw...I asked him if he was ever scared of Ichabod Crane and that I was scared he was going walk out of the water and eat me. He laughed at me and explained that Ichabod Crane was just a bird that liked to eat fish and that I had nothing to worry about. I felt so much better after hearing that :) I sure do miss my grandfather but very happy to have such wonderful memories :)
(including soon to be Mothers)
We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." "We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think... I should have a baby?"
"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.
"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."
But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.
I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.
I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her.
That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.
I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mum!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moments hesitation.
I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her
baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.
I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming
children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.
However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.
Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.
That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.
I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.
My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks.
I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child.
I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.
I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.
I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike.
I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time.
I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.
My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.
Please share this with a Mum that you know or all of your girlfriends who may someday be Mums. May you always have in your arms the one who is in your heart.